left for dead

Non-USPTR/USPTA-Certified Guidance on Permanently Switching to a One-Handed Backhand from Two

You won’t feel much at first. Sometimes you can’t tell how much you feel. You think you should feel something based on what you think has just happened. But you don’t truly feel it. You hear it though. Like a dull pop. Not the pop of a firecracker or, say, a pistol, but more of a rip. A detachment. Everything disconnected. The sound of separation. Then the pain sets in. A numbness followed by heat. A burning that spreads, a sting, and a sudden, sharp stab. Like a knife going in and cutting its way clean through. You’re curious at the moment it occurs, like a neutral observer, but the curiosity soon gives way to fear. A fear that serious damage has been done, that something central has been lost. You continue playing out of panic, only making matters worse. You both know and don’t know, but what is true at the time will remain true. Denial alone will not change the facts. Wishful thinking is no match for the inevitable realization that life is rarely what you make it. The pop is how you learn you’ve had it all wrong. The pop is how you learn you are what life makes you.